Equal But Different
But what does it mean to be a man, or to be a woman? How are a man and a woman the same? How do they differ from each other? To answer such questions, you must know the Creator of male and female and depend on the owner’s manual he provides—the Bible.
Let’s first focus on what man and woman have in common. God created both man and woman in his own image, equal in dignity and value. God gave both man and woman a spiritual nature, a sharp mind, and a calling to work and accomplish things. God gave both man and woman the shared mandate to have children together and to take charge of the earth and its creatures.
Sometimes it’s tempting to exaggerate differences and say, as one author does, “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.” But the Bible puts our feet firmly on earth. When Adam first saw Eve, he didn’t say, “What planet did this come from?” He said, “This is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” He knew he was looking at his other half. Not only were Adam and Eve from the same planet, they were even from the same body.
God made Adam from dust, but he didn’t make Eve from a separate and independent bit of dust. He made Eve from a part of Adam. Where did God get the part of the man that he fashioned into the woman? Not from his head, as though she would be superior to him; and not from his feet, as though she would be inferior; but from his side, to be his companion and equal.
The interdependence of man and woman are clear in the two names which Adam gave his wife in Genesis. When he first saw her, he said, “She shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man” (2:23). Later, Adam gave his wife another name, Eve, meaning life-bearer, “because she would become the mother of all the living” (3:20). As “woman” she was originally taken out of the man, but as “Eve” all men thereafter would be taken from her. The New Testament emphasizes the significance of this: “In the Lord, a woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God” (1 Corinthians 11:11-12).
It’s clear, then, that there’s a basic unity and equality in man and woman. But there are also differences in the way God made us, differences that shape our identity as male or female. Husband and wife are equal in dignity but have different roles. The husband is to take the lead and the woman is to support him. This was evident already in the original marriage.
God didn’t create Adam and Eve at the same time. He created Adam first, before Eve. The New Testament repeats this fact when it calls for male leadership (1 Timothy 2:13).
God placed Adam in the garden to take care of it, before Eve existed. She was to join and support him in work to which God had already called him. When God was about to create Eve, he didn’t say, “I will make someone for Adam to help.” He said, “I will make a helper suitable for him.” When God made Eve, he didn’t start from scratch and make her from dust, as he had when he formed the man. Instead, he formed her out of the man. The New Testament says that this has abiding significance, emphasizing, “Man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man” (1 Corinthians 11:7-9).
God invited Adam to eat fruit from any tree but one and warned him against disobedience even before Eve existed. How was she supposed to learn God’s instructions? Adam was to teach her what God had taught him. The New Testament says this pattern from the original marriage still applies, telling women that if they have questions about the teachings of God’s Word, “they should ask their own husbands at home” (1 Corinthians 14:35). This means, of course, that husbands today had better listen to God and know the Bible well enough to be able to answer questions.
When the man and the woman first met, she didn’t name him. He named her and defined her in relation to himself. In the Bible, giving a name is an act of authority. When Adam named his wife, it showed his authority in relation to her.
In all these ways, the original marriage shows that the husband bears the primary responsibility to lead his wife and family in a God-glorifying way. Mature maleness isn’t about bullying or controlling, and mature femaleness isn’t about being a cowering doormat. The curse of sin can twist relationships, but that’s not how it was in the beginning. When Adam first met Eve, he didn’t say, “Oh, good! At last, I’ve got somebody to boss around!” He saw a marvel who was part of himself, equal in dignity to himself, and whom he should treat as well as he would treat his own body.
In a context of equality and oneness, Adam in his manhood was to lead and have primary responsibility as the head of the marriage, while Eve in her womanhood was to gladly affirm and support Adam; and the two, united as one, were to image God, have children, and care for God’s world. This was God’s design for healthy marriage in Genesis, and in the New Testament, it is God’s design for healthy marriage among those who belong to Jesus.
The Original Marriage Continues in part 3