EVILS OF UNFORGIVENESS

As long as we live in this world, it is practically impossible to have an offence-free world. In as much as Satan is still here with us, offences will surely come. As long as the unrepentant, the perverse and the forward are part of any society, there is bound to be different forms of offences. However, this does not preclude the possibility of offences among truly born again group, assembly or church.

Offences can come within the Christian fold. This is because one, the visible church is still in the world and, it consists of saints who are, nevertheless, humans. Most of offences from true believers result from human errors through forgetfulness, lack of perfect knowledge, wrong judgment and differences in backgrounds, exposures and temperaments: they are expectedly inadvertent. Offences will surely come. But when offences come, true children of God who have themselves received the free gift of God’s forgiveness are commanded and expected to forgive every offence either from the world or within the church in the same way that God for Christ sake forgives us.

But sad to note is the fact that some Christians still withhold forgiveness from their offenders despite the express command by the Lord Jesus. Let such know that there are grave consequences in not forgiving offences done against them. The consequences of un-forgiveness are bad; they are spiritual and psychological, earthly and ethereal.

Unforgiveness is the major root of many people’s health, marital, family and financial problems. It is a subtle weapon the enemy uses to hinder the believers’ blessing or spiritual growth. And truly, it is something that can hold us back from escaping the corruption of sin and living for God. It is the single most popular poison that the enemy uses against God’s people, and it is one of the deadliest poisons a person can take spiritually. Unforgiveness is the most common and the easiest sin to commit because it always comes with anger and hatred.

           

And unlike forgiveness which has several benefits, unforgiveness also have many consequences. These consequences affect man physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, academically, ministerially, martially, etc.

  

“And when ye stand praying, forgive….” Here the Saviour is drawing a close inseparable link between prayer and forgiveness. But I think the only thing that can hinder answers to prayer is iniquity. For the psalmist says, “If I regard iniquity in my heart the Lord will not hear me.” Does that mean unforgiveness is iniquity? You are quite right, it is an iniquity. Jesus confirms this in his parable on forgiveness when He referred to the unforgiving servant as a wicked person. And if you don’t forgive, you make yourself a sinner. “And we know that God heareth not a sinner.” The implication here is that God will not hear your prayers if you don’t forgive your offenders. And imagine how many areas of your life need God’s merciful intervention through prayers.

What if you were sick like Hezekiah and you needed to pray? What if you were a child of sorrow like Jabez and you would need to cry out in prayers to God to change your destiny? Jesus says when ye stand praying forgive. Imagine if there was a dare need in your life like that of Hannah that demands you pouring out your heart to the Lord in prayers? Imagine if at such crucial times of need God turned a deaf ear to your prayers simply because of the iniquity of unforgiveness; then you will be doing yourself a great deal of harm. As long as you keep regarding iniquity in your heart, be sure that the Lord will not hear you. And do you know that the only option available for all God’s children to access the throne of grace and get their needs met is through the avenue of prayer? And forgiveness is a necessary signatory to your heavenly account. Just imagine how many prayers you will have to offer in your life time of Christian living on earth. “And when ye stand praying, forgive…” Perhaps the delay you are experiencing in one area of your life is even due to this issue of forgiveness. You can not be too sure is not. Why not forgive and see what God will do. Unforgiveness hinders prayers!

Another point from the passage is that unforgiveness prevent God from forgiving our sins. “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” I heard you said “I am a Christian.” There you are. Have you attained the angelic perfection? If you have, I congratulate you because you are likely to be excluded from this issue. But I guess it is human being that is reading this book now. If that is true, you also need forgiveness in many areas and on many things. Evaluate yourself on all the commandments of God and see if you are blameless. Have you also offended someone in your life? Then you need Forgiveness from God and men. There are sins of commission and omission that you will still commit in your Christian journey. And if you shut the door of forgiveness against your fellow men, heaven also will be close against you. And what
a disaster!

Remember that an unforgiven person is a sinner. And no sinner will inherit the kingdom of God. Then I wonder what you are living for if making heaven is not your ultimate goal in life. But why on earth will you not forgive others when yourselfyou are a forgiven sinner!

Unforgiveness deprives you of rendering acceptable service unto God.  Hear what the Lord Jesus says, “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and  then come  and offer thy gift.” The implication of this is that when you bring your gift of tithes, offering, vows, thanksgiving and any other service unto God, the lord says if you have somebody whom you have not forgiven in your heart, your gifts, no matter how precious and costly it may look to you will become unacceptable and an abomination to God. (Read Isaiah 58: 1-12)

Unforgiveness generates a sadistic joy in us. When any tragedy befalls others, we are unable to feel their pain, but instead we laugh at them (Prov17:5b) “…he that is glad at calamities shall not be unpunished.” This means that unforgiveness kills our ability to sympathize with others.

Unforgiveness opens us up to the tormentor (the devil) “…and deliver him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due to him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also to you, if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses.” (matt.18:23-35). Unforgiveness opens up your life to be tormented of the beggarly elements of demons and satanic agents either in the night time or during the day. Is there any harassment and molestation in the dream or in the day light? Please, examine your life; the reason might be as a result of unforgiveness. Unforgiveness can also give the devil advantage over us (2Cor.2:10, 11). “To whom ye forgive anything, I forgive also; for if I forgave anything, to whom I forgave it, for your sake forgave I it in the person of Christ; lest Satan should get and advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.” Remember your adversary the devil, like a roaring lion is incessant and unrelenting in his insatiable seeking of someone to devour. Watch out! Lest Satan gets an advantage of unforgiveness in you which to you is a great and disastrous disadvantage.

Unforgiveness can also defile a person (Heb.12:15) “…lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.” Bitterness leads to unforgiveness and unforgiveness leads to defilement and defilement ultimately close the door of heavenly city against you. “And there shall in no wise enter into it anything that defileth….”And this is the most common thing that defiles many people today. Much bondage can be gotten rid of when a person forgives those who wrong him or her.

Unforgiveness can also prevent us from being spiritually fruitful. In John 15:5, the bible tells us that if we abide in Christ we will produce much spiritual fruit, and verse 10 says the only way to abide in Christ is to keep His commandments. Verse 17 tells us that His commandment is that we love one another as He has loved us. Therefore, if we don’t forgive, it shows absence of love one for another, and then we do no abide in Him. And how do we produce much fruits if we don’t abide in Him? According to verse six, the branch that doesn’t abide in the vine will be cast into the fire. 

Christ Jesus said that we should love our enemies. According to Dale Carnegie, “When we hate our enemies (by not forgiving them), we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew they were worrying us, lacerating us, and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them at all, but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil.” How destructive an unforgiving person is to himself than to his offenders!

Forgiveness should be part of the Christian lifestyle. Basically you can’t go on having a successful, buoyant, joyous and fulfilling Christian life if there are weights of grudges on your heart, it hinders you from focusing on what Jesus is saying concerning you, the person or people you are holding the grudge against and all other people around you to whom you are directly or indirectly connected. Little wonder Jesus’ express charge when He answered Peter’s question on forgiveness.

Unforgiveness increase our psychological pain of the perceived offence. Unforgiveness blocks healthy communication and reconciliation between us and our offender. Unforgiveness segregates, averts, circumvents and bounds us from having new, healthier and more fulfilling relationship with others.

Apart from making you prisoner to your own past, unforgiveness also produces bitterness. The cumulative effects of remembering any offences done to you no matter how brief or long the time is, is that you became a bitter person. The more you remember the offence, the more the bitterness is built up and absorbs your thinking. The more it basically shapes your person.

Bitterness is not a sin, it is an infection, and it does affect the whole life due to unforgiveness. It makes you become sarcastic, condemning, have a vicious disposition, and harassed by the memories of what you can’t forgive. Your thoughts become malignant to others, you get a distorted view of life and you have literally diseased your whole existence. Anger begins to rage in you and it can easily get you out of control. Your emotions begin to run wild and you, and your mind becomes the victim of your emotion. You entertain continuous thought of revenge. And then what happens? Even a casual conversation becomes a forum for slander, a forum for gossip, and your flesh rather than the spirit will gain control.

·         Unforgiveness affects the central nervous system, resulting in such feelings as: irritability, nervousness, anxiety, hostility, anger, resentment, and depression. It also disrupts the harmony of the brain waves, making one less able to think clearly and to make excellent decisions thus decreasing productivity at workplace and increasing tension, bad atmosphere at work or home.

·         Unforgiveness affects the muscular-skeleton system by increasing forehead muscle tension, thereby producing headaches, and by also producing other symptoms: stomach aches, muscle and joint aches, dizziness, and tiredness. These could lead to accidents, addictions and remaining stuck in activities or relationships that cause harm.

·         Unforgiveness affects the heart rate’s variability, a crucial measure of condition of nervous system, as well as the cardiovascular system’s flexibility, by increasing blood pressure.

When I was growing up as a child, I can live with grudge for days and even months without forgiving, but I never felt comfortable or satisfied about it. But when I grew up to become a youth, I realized that when you don’t forgive you are just giving yourself a headache and even doing yourself so many harms because the person you don’t forgive will never feel depressed and frustrated the way you do. And my dad will always say that “An angry man is always a looser.” This is proven to be true in our day to day life. Have you ever noticed that when you get angry even at a simple thing, is either you lose your temper; lose some material things like your eating plate, your glass cups and many other things. You just have something to lose!

Forgiveness is a wonderful thing.   It lets the person who needs to do the forgiving ‘off the hook’ so to speak.  It takes the weight of the world off a person’s shoulders.  The lack of forgiveness can actually lead to very real physical problem.  I read of someone who was the most wonderful minister of music.  He was happy, playful, and incredibly talented.  His father had been murdered when he was a teenager.  He helped track down the murderer, testified against him, and was a witness to the man’s execution.  This man was later diagnosed with colon cancer and was dead by the time he was forty.  According to one physician, he was literally eaten up by the fact that he could not forgive the murderer of his father. What a suicide mission!

  

To be free from all these consequences is first to be at peace with God by accepting the forgiveness offered in Jesus. You must also allow the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. He is a beautiful person that has the attribute of God the Father and the Son. The Holy Spirit is the only one who can produce in you the beautiful forgiving life of Jesus. He will fill you with the life of God and form the character of Jesus in you. When you are filled with the Holy Spirit, it becomes much easier to bring your temper and nature under control to foster a healthy relationship with every one.

Other ways to be free from all these consequences is to forgive God, forgive yourself, and then forgive others. When I say forgive God, it looks like a blasphemy. Yet some people must “forgive God” because to them God is their offender. You ask me how? Often times we blame God for everything that happens to us, especially when we are ignorant of the situations of life. We are tempted to blame God for not protecting us from the evil that was done to us, for things that didn’t turn out the way we think they should. The devil also teases us with thoughts by asking us many questions like, “How could a loving God allow this to happen to you?” and unfortunately, we agree with him and turn away from God. But God remains the God of love. He loves you far more than your finite mind can imagine. Behind every dealings of God with all His children lies His genuine love. All you need is a deeper knowledge of this Great God and you will soon exclaim in the loud swelling chorus with countless millions of His children that “The Lord is good all the time.”

We also need to forgive ourselves for any mistake we have made in life. Sometimes we blame and condemn ourselves for what has happened. And even find it very difficult to accept forgiveness. Agreed, we are responsible for what happened, but that doesn’t mean that we should criticiz
e ourselves for the rest of our lives. It is when we free ourselves from this attitude of self-judgment, that we will become the new person God wants us to be.

And finally, we need to forgive others. If you may ask me, it really takes some time to get to that place of being willing to forgive your offenders readily. But I will encourage you to ask God for the grace, the strength, the desire, the capability, the enablement and the ability to forgive, not just from the mouth but right from the depth of your hearth. Forgive them quickly and freely. (Mathew 10:18) says “…freely you have received, freely give.” The quicker you forgive the, the easier it is.

As I end this chapter, three things you must do to make forgiveness your daily habit; make the decision to always forgive, dependupon the power of God because you cannot do it all alone by your own power, and finally, obey His word. The word of God has many instructions as regards steps to take concerning forgiving those who offend us.