BEWARE OF HOME BREAKERS!
I welcome you to this enriching and edifying blog site. I strongly believe that you have been blessed by the previous publications. Without any doubt, many of us have come to realize that marriage is beautiful and we are in it or planning to get married. Whether you are married or about to, my prayer is that the best of you will come out in your marriage. Building a home does not just start after the marriage ceremony, but it must have started even before you thought of marriage. Shortly you will get more light into this statement.
God committed the assignment of building a home into the hand of two major players, the husband and the wife. You have roles to play. God called man the Head and the woman the Help-meet. These two individual come together to commit their lives into investing in a Home. You will agree with me that in the business world, when you make an investment you check out ALL that could pose as an enemy of your investment and you get rid of them. In this write up I shall be looking at the enemies of marriage which I called Home Breakers. They must be dealt with so that you can enjoy your marriage. Marriage is not to be endured but to be enjoyed.
Most of the time, when we talk about home breakers, it is possible your mind runs to that individual that you feel is the reason behind your trouble at home (girl or a man or an in-law that does not like your face). Let me disappoint you: the major home breakers are not actually flesh and blood. But untamed monsters that have been with our adamic nature. What are these home breakers? I will put them in two categories: The internal enemies and the external enemies. In this publication I will center on the internal home breakers. The internal enemies are stronger than the external ones in that they have been with us for a long time, even before we get into marriage.
Actually, internal enemies are character problems or personal weaknesses that are not properly dealt with before going into marriage. I will discuss four of them and I pray that the Holy Spirit will give us the grace to handle and destroy them. Sometimes we see them as irrelevant but as King Solomon wrote:
Song of Songs 2:15: “Take us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes”. Your home is tender so chase out these little, little foxes and enjoy the wine out of your marriage.
These internal home-breakers are:
Indiscipline:
Indiscipline simply means lack of discipline. In other words it could mean lack of self-control. A lot of individuals find it difficult to behave well in the face of some life issues. An indiscipline person cannot build a successful home. For example a man that cannot discipline his appetite will end up eating the food of his secretary who might be a witch that will end up turning his heart against his family.
Indiscipline simply means lack of discipline. In other words it could mean lack of self-control. A lot of individuals find it difficult to behave well in the face of some life issues. An indiscipline person cannot build a successful home. For example a man that cannot discipline his appetite will end up eating the food of his secretary who might be a witch that will end up turning his heart against his family.
Now, who is to be blamed, the lady outside or the man that went into her trap due to lack of disciple in the area of appetite? Why did I use this example? Because this issue might look so trivial but it could lead to a serious life wreck. Esau wouldn’t know that a plate of porridge will deny him of his life generational blessing. Hebrews 12:16-17: “Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears”.
I observe and behold some unmarried ladies that will never spend their weekend at home. They always move from one functions to another; one uncle to another aunty; it is only their official assignment that will make you meet them during the week. It is so bad that some will even go and sleep in a friend’s house and dress from there to work, what an act of indiscipline! Lack of self control had made many go to places where they are not expected to be, and take things that are forbidden. When will you settle down? In marriage such a one will find it difficult to stay at home and raise a family. It takes discipline to build home. Proverbs 14:1: “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands”.
A woman that is not disciplined will be going from house to house gossiping and backbiting, leaving her home affairs and opening herself up to the devilish counsels that could destroy her marriage. Please do not tear down your home BE DISCIPLINED. As for you, I asked for the power to be discipline to come upon you in Jesus name.
How do you handle indiscipline?
This what the Bible says: And put a knife to thy throat,
if thou be a man given to appetite.
Proverbs 23:2. You are the one that will locate your own area where you need help and deal with it. Cut off all excesses, be a law to yourself. Apostle Paul said: “All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.” 1 Corinthians 6:12-13. Take up the challenge, mind your business. And you will see God make your home heaven on earth.
if thou be a man given to appetite.
Proverbs 23:2. You are the one that will locate your own area where you need help and deal with it. Cut off all excesses, be a law to yourself. Apostle Paul said: “All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.” 1 Corinthians 6:12-13. Take up the challenge, mind your business. And you will see God make your home heaven on earth.
2. Covetousness:
I love what the dictionary defines as covetousness and I want you to read with understand:
· It is an envious eagerness to posses something.
· It is reprehensible acquisitiveness, insatiable desire for wealth.
· Extreme greed for material wealth.
· Strong desire to possess something that is not your own.
The problem of covetousness is not something that is just starting because you marry someone that is poor or rich. It has been a problem that you feel is not a big deal. Many have a way of excusing themselves thinking they can always work earn good money and get their cravings met. Let me tell you this, you can never satisfy you fleshly desires unless you put some measures. As a single lady if before you marry, you have been living above your parental means you will find it difficult to stay under the confine of a man’s finance.
Luke 12:15:” And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth”. Your life is not measured by material things. One may ask how will this break home? A covetous man will always be in debt. Such a man will be a perpetual slave. Proverbs 22:7: “The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender”.
How many women out there would like to marry a slave? No one. You could lose your wife and your family if you will not stop doing things on credit as a result of your “long throat”. As a woman if you are not careful adultery is by the corner. Covetousness will make a married woman take money from other men and end up on the bed of adultery. No serious man pray to marry a whore, it could be irritating. Please deal with this weakness before it wrecks that beautiful home. You shall not be a victim.
How many women out there would like to marry a slave? No one. You could lose your wife and your family if you will not stop doing things on credit as a result of your “long throat”. As a woman if you are not careful adultery is by the corner. Covetousness will make a married woman take money from other men and end up on the bed of adultery. No serious man pray to marry a whore, it could be irritating. Please deal with this weakness before it wrecks that beautiful home. You shall not be a victim.
What is the antidote for this problem? Contentment
“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment, let us be therewith content.” 1Timothy 6:6-8. Live your level per time. Life is in phases, men are in sizes. Your level now is not your destination. Your part will shine brighter. What you cannot get now, you do not need it. Wives do not push your husbands into evil because of money, the joy of materialism is short lived. If you are not married and you are reading this article, beware do not let material things be the test of your love. Gehazi got what he did not bargain for because of covetousness. Be warned! Pray for your husband/ wife; that is God’s will. “…but he that hateth covetousness shall prolong his days.” (Proverbs 28:16). Your longevity, happiness of your home is tied to contentment. The joy of your home shall not be aborted in Jesus name. If there is any form of financial constrain around you The God of abundance will visit your family He shall turn your story around in Jesus name.
Hot Temper/ Anger
What is anger? Emotional outburst of displeasure. It could also mean strong feeling of displeasure. Is it a sin to be angry? NO! Ephesians 4:26-27 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. It is clear from this scripture that there is provision for being angry BUT NO SIN.As human beings we are sometimes faced with situations that we do not like and which may not go down well with us but the way anger is managed is what determines what kind of a person that you are. Do remember that we are looking at the enemies that are capable of breaking homes. The reason for your hot temper is not that you marry a wrong person or you are under a spell, (well, there may be considerations for those that are having psychological problems like stress or depression). If you practice well how to manage an unpleasant situation before you go into marriage you will have no problem dealing with anger. Immaturity is the reason why many misbehave in the face of annoyance.
I remembered when I was growing up a situation that my father was called to intervene, as an elder he could not mend the situation because the woman has allowed the spirit of anger to take her over. She got angry and destroyed the car, TV, S
tereo, and used shovel to injure the man on the head and many other things. The husband sent her out and the church could do nothing. Please if you are given to hot temper seek the face of The Lord to deal with it.
tereo, and used shovel to injure the man on the head and many other things. The husband sent her out and the church could do nothing. Please if you are given to hot temper seek the face of The Lord to deal with it.
What is the scripture saying about Anger?
Anger can make someone lose out of his beautiful inheritance. Two sons of Jacob did Genesis 49:5,7 Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations… Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel. It is foolishness to allow the spirit of anger make you a dwelling place Ecclesiastes 7:9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
How do you deal with anger?
1. The best way is to turn to God for help if your anger is excessive.
2. Mind your language when you are angry. Do not allow your mouth to cause you to sin.
Proverbs 15:1-2 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.
The consequences of words spoken in anger might be too much to handle afterwards so, take caution.
3. Turn off every source of anger. Do not stay where you keep on hearing or seeing what will make you angry.
4. Learn to rule your spirit. Do not express your anger in an immature way like beating, destroying properties, cursing or packing out of your matrimonial home.
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. Proverbs 16:32
5. Let off the steam. Do not bottle up because you will explode one day. The best way to let off the steam is to discuss the matter that is making you angry. If you feel your spouse is not yielding, take it to God in prayer.
6. Seek for Godly counsel from those that you can see the testimony of God In their home. Do not sweep important matters under Carpet all the times.
7. Lastly give yourself over totally to the leading of the Spirit. He is a sure help in the time of need.
I decree that that spirit of anger is totally destroyed in your life. If by your anger, your marriage has been injured I asked for the peace of heaven to take over. You shall not lose your home, children and your peace again in Jesus name.
Laziness / Slothfulness
Who is a lazy person? The dictionary puts laziness as Inactivity resulting from a dislike of work.
A lazy person is someone that is disincline to work or exertion which means he dislike using his/ her physical or mental energy.
No wonder the Bible in many places go against Slothfulness (another name for laziness)
You will agree with me that right from childhood good parents fight against laziness in growing children Why? A lazy man cannot do anything meaningful. The best a lazy man or woman can be is a beggar. If man will not work when he is supposed to work at the time when others are enjoying their harvest, he will have nothing to show. Proverbs 20:4 The sluggard will not plow by reason of the cold; therefore shall he beg in harvest, and have nothing. Proverbs 13:4 The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat. Most of the times when I have the opportunity to teach on family affairs, most of the frequently asked question is related to laziness on the part of one of the spouses. This point is rocking or breaking home this days Please parents do not condone laziness let your children exert their physical and mental energy so that they can become responsible adults.
A lazy husband is a heart ache to the wife so also a lazy woman. Do not give excuse for not working, Proverbs 22:13 The slothful man saith, There is a lion without, I shall be slain in the streets. Some lazy guys hold on to bad economy and they refuse to work. Are you the only one that is in the country? What of those that are working and making it big time. The problem is not the economy but the lazy mind. A lazy man cannot be a responsible husband and father, please do not allow this ‘sin’ to break your home. You are not permitted to eat if you are not working. Proverbs 19:15Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger. 2 Thessalonians 3:10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat. Prayerfully seek for job and earn back your respect.
As a wife or a mother at home let the woman in the book of Proverbs 31 be your role model. Take a look at her profile:
Proverbs 31:13-25,27-28,31
“She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it ; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also , and he praiseth her. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates”.
This scripture should be hidden in your heart. By the time you are blaming your house help for not cooking for your husband and your children, it shows you have lost your duty and respect as a wife. The way your husband and your children appear shows whether you are lazy or not. I had a cause to visit a woman in her house and right from the gate one could see that she is such a lazy woman, everywhere smelling of baby urine, dog’s feces littered everywhere, in my heart I said this woman will lose her home if she is not careful. True to my thought after sometime I heard the news that her husband packed out to live with another woman. But glory to God the church intervened and he is back. She wouldn’t have gone through this heart ache if she is up to her duty. Let your husband have a home where he will be proud to come back to and rest. The fact that he is a Christian does not mean that he does not have sense for good things. Your husband is more interested in good home than good face. Add colours to your home and not just your face. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30 See to his dressings and cloth your children. It is not a matter of rich or poor where you are now is good enough. Laziness breaks home please beware! There are other home-breaks like: Nagging, Unforgiveness, Bitterness, Murmuring and complaining, Waste etc. if you notice that you have any of these weaknesses quickly seek for help. Your home shall not break. You and your spouse shall grow old together enjoying the wine of love. Your children shall see you as role models and your generation will call you blessed.
Watch out for the next edition I will write on External Home-breakers.
Until then, STAY BLESSED
Until then, STAY BLESSED
